Wednesday, 19 November 2008

My Hubby

At his Docs appointment last Friday, it was mostly good. His pain meds have been increased from 5mg to 25mg, and are mostly helping, but I'm noticing that now (nearly a week later), they're not taking care of all his pain.

My hubby still isn't able to go to work and I can't help feeling that he may not be able to go back again. This is heartbreaking, but he's better to stay away and feel better, than push himself to go and feel exhausted. A new GM has been appointed, and that's hard for everyone involved, but we have to accept that it's necessary.

Food intake is minimal and although he's always had a fantastic appetite for nearly all types of food, he's totally lost interest in the stuff. Our Doc said this was problem due to toxins being put out by the tumour (or tumours). He's trying to drink to keep some strength ... protein drinks like Ensure Plus and he's making fruit smoothies ... both of which I'm sure do help. I've lost my cook ... she wails in self indulgence ... but she knows that loosing her cook is nothing compared to what the future may hold.

Our doc has agreed to take more fluid from around my hubby's left lung, and may have him stay in hospital overnight, so he can take one litre of fluid on one day and one litre the next day. We're trying to delay this being done for as long as possible, as family and friends from New Zealand begin arriving next week ... and some will be here for around two weeks. Hubby's 50th birthday will be both a fun and challenging time. Great to see so many members of our family and friends, but it will be a big shock for them to see my hubby, coz when we visited them in New Zealand last July/August, he was looking so much healthier. My hubby is going to have to find the strength to disappear to our bedroom for quiet times whenever he needs them. It will be tough ... but we will get through this!

Today my darling man is looking pale, tired, and grey. Not a good look! He's also frustrated, so damn frustrated, coz he wants to be working around our place next door, but even walking over there is exhausting and requires him to sit down. Cancer is so damn cruel!

Our good friend James is still working for us everyday, but we're going to have to let him return to work, as don't want to upset the balance in any way. He's loving working around the house and would happily continue to do it for a few more weeks, but unfortunately we can't afford that luxury. We do know that after James returns to his real job, he will join our many friends who come round to offer help at nights and weekends. We are very lucky people to have so many great friends.

We go to the doc tomorrow and think it'll be time for more decisions re fluid removal. Plus another increase (or change) in pain meds.


stephanie said...

Still thinking about you... what a hard time.

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to you Karen! As I am also losing my very best friend to that damn cancer. Be strong!

Best wishes! Ken


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