Change is healthy ... I hope

Usually I grow three or four sweet bite tomato plants every summer. They have a lovely flavour and they seem to fruit for months and months. I love eating them in many foods ... giving bags of them to friends, and using them instead of bread to dip in dukkah!

This year I've planted four sweet bite tomato plants ... and they're already providing me with tomatoes and growing well ... here's a photo taken a couple of weeks ago ... add a couple of centimetres to them, to image how they look today.


... but this year I've decided to diversify ... and even though Merv has died ... so I'm the only person I'm growing food for, I've added three more plants ... each of them different ... just to see how they grow.

Let me introduce you to ...
One of my heirloom tomatoes - Amish Oxheart

... another heirloom - Green Zebra - a gift from a friend and only planted 12 hours ago

... and a reasonably new tomato - Tomatoberry - it has small fruit on trusses and is advertised as being largely disease resistant. Today I was trimming some of the big leaves away from my tomatoes to allow more air movement around them and I realised that my tomatoberry has nine flowering trusses ... time to get excited

I have so many plans for you ...

My Queensland blue pumpkins are finally producing female flowers and I can see the beginnings of roast pumpkin, mashed pumpkin, stirfried pumpkin, pumpkin in quiche, pumpkin in lasagne, pumpkin curry, pumpkin soup, pumpkin in vegie stew, pumpkin scones, pumpkin in nearly everything I cook ... I love pumpkin!


I have four Queensland blue pumpkin plants ... two planted in tyres, one either side of my lemon tree, and two planted in one of my raised garden beds ... although I seem to have lost 55 carrot plants and three apple cucumbers ... but hopefully they're still in that same raised garden bed ... somewhere ...

Down to Earth Forum Swap

I've been involved in the members christmas tree ornament swap ... it was loads of fun.

Here's the goodies that arrived for me from Michelle in America -



I feel very spoilt!

Hair Cut

Wilson was looking so cute ... but it was becoming obvious that hot weather wasn't far away, so it was time to have another hair cut.


Here's his before and after photos ... I didn't recognise his body ... but his eyes belonged to my gorgous companion.

I keep needing more space for my vegies ...

I can't stop adding more seeds and seedlings. So I have to keep finding ways to increase my space ... and that's fun. Here's some photos ...

These terracota pots have been sealed and are homes for a bay tree and flat leaf parsley.


A heirloom tomato plant - Amish Oxheart - growing in a bag of potting mix


A Queensland blue pumpkin and a bush cucumber are growing in two tyres.


I have three 'tomato towers' which I'm using to grow climbing beans and peas.

Seven Raised Garden Beds ...

Finally all the raised garden beds have been built!



It was so exciting to have the final two built, weed mat and soil in place, so I could find more vegies to put in them. It didn't take long to fill them both ... although I'm continuing to look for space to add more seeds and seedlings.

Next the watering options will be added. Each garden will have the choice of the BioCycle, rain water (tank) or mains water. Then the areas around each garden bed will be levelled and covered with weed mat and blue metal. An arch is being built by a friend and it will go between the two garden beds built onto the side of my neighbours and my fence. A bench seat will be below that ... as a place to chill. Not all together necessary, as each garden has a layer of sleepers lying horizontally ... so it's possible to sit anywhere!

Trying to make a signature ...

Week 208 - Adjustment 25 - Photos

Front

Left

Right - with gap over the impacted canine nearly closed due to the bracket on the lateral and first pre molar being tied with power-chord

Closer look at the closing of the gap caused by my impacted canine

Open bite

Week 208 - Adjustment 25

My ortho is keenly trying to get my bite in the best position and to that end he worked on my upper arch this time.

He removed the powerchain ... which has been there since my November adjustment. It was amazing to see the powerchain and that it was still totally in tact. It wouldn't be applying pressure to my teeth, but it was preventing them from spreading out, so it was still do a part job ... after all those months - 8 months!

Next he took my top archwire off and adjusted the bends in it and worked more bends into it. The archwire was put back on and I could immediately feel that. Then a new powerchain was put on ... my favourte purple one ... and ghee I could feel that.

Next my ortho got some PC 'power chain' ... which is a type of elastic thread. He threaded that around the brackets of the teeth on either side of the gap where my impacted canine is and then tied it tight ... behind the archwire. Wow ... I could feel those teeth moving ... which was exciting! Tben with some fancy tying, it was secured tightly in place.

A new hook was made for my upper right side elastic and more of those horrible tiny 1/8" elastics were put on. Same as last time -

Left side - a triangle, from upper canine to lower canine and lower premolar

Right side - a triangle from upper first molar to lower canine and lower premolar

My next appointment is in seven weeks and here's to my bite being less open and the gap over my impacted canine finally closed!

Week 202 - Adjustment 24

It's been a long time since I've been to see my ortho for an appointment, mostly due to me not keeping an appointment while my hubby was in hospital, and after he died ... well my teeth just didn't seem to warrant interest. But ... finally I'm back and realise that my darling man needs me to stay on track, so I'm back to doing things that need to be done!

My ortho was so caring and sweet about my absence, but he still stressed my need to keep on track now, as my time in treatment is getting long ... and don't I know that!

He's concerned that my open bite hasn't shown much improvement and he wonders if this may not be able to be corrected without surgery. He doesn't recommend I have the surgery, so it's about getting my bite to a place where it's as good as it can be.

He changed my elastics to these tiny little 1/8" things ... gray wolf ... they are so tiny and hard to put on. I'm to wear them all day, one on each side in a triangle

1. Left side - a triangle, from upper canine to lower canine and lower premolar
2. Right side - a triangle from upper first molar to lower canine and lower premolar

My next appointment is in six weeks and here's to my bite being less open and the gap over my impacted canine closed!

He couldn't stay ...

The love of my life died on the last day of our Summer ... 28 February 2009.

We spent three weeks in hospital together and then with the help of our Palliative Care nurse, I was able to bring my hubby home for his final few days.

He was doing it hard, but he never stopped smiling and communicating with family and friends.

Early Saturday morning, he had problem breathings, and after administering him his meds at 3 am and 4 am, I phoned our Palliative Care nurse for advice. He talked me through the next hour, and then it was all about waiting ... waiting for our kids to arrive.

My gorgeous man was doing it tough, but he wasn't ready to give up and he kept gasping for breath and doing everything in his power to stay with us. Our kids arrived just before 11 am (they'd flown in around 10 am) and we were by his side till he took his final breath 1 1/2 hours later.

He acheived his goals to be at home and to have the three people he loved the most in this world holding him tight.

Our sadness is so heavy I'm not sure how to survive the weight, but I'm pleased my hubby no longer has to live with this horrible disease!

Thanks to the many bloggers who've been giving me support over the past year ... it was truly appreciated.

Visitors

We've had family from New Zealand visit and that was good for us both. My hubbies Mum, one of his brothers and his wife came for a week. It was nice to catch up with them and hear stories from home. The hard part is when they leave ... my hubby gets very upset, coz he's left wondering if he'll ever see them again. I think that's why he's not sure if he wants any more family from New Zealand to visit.

Our kids are due back in about seven sleeps ... can't wait! It's tough for them having to leave their jobs and friends, but they both want to spend as much time with their Dad as they can. I can't begin to imagine how tough this is for them.

We're noticed that our local friends don't call as often as they used to. A couple still do ... but it's getting hard for them ... you can see it in their eyes. They love my hubby (and they've all worked for him also) and I think they're finding the sight of him suffering is just too hard ... which it is!

Heat Wave

Our state, is in the middle of a heat wave, with last weeks temps in the high 40's and this week we're expecting high 30's most days. Sadly many people are dying from this heat ... mostly the elderly, sick, with children and animals are also at risk.

My hubby can't go outside ... he's held up inside, under ceiling fans and with the air con blowing. He needs the cool air blowing on him to help him breathe ... that's even while wearing oxygen. The dry heat exhausts him and makes him gasp for breath. Our fear is a power cut. We have two cylinders of oxygen, so that's the oxygen taken care of ... it's more about how to get cool air moving. Think if that happened, I'd get him in the car ... somehow ... and just keep driving (with the air con blowing full) till the power was back on.

Our doctor has been to our house twice now ... which is so sweet of him, as my hubby wouldn't be able to go to the clinic to see him. He's been through the many pain meds my hubby is on and made adjustments. It really is a personal way to meet with your doctor, instead of in their rooms.

I've realised that a lot of the time I'm feeling numb ...
I think I'm already grieving ...
Grieving for the things my hubby can no longer do ...
Grieving for the amazing life we had ...
Other times my stomach churns till I'm sure I'll be sick ...
But I think this is also a sympton of my grieving ...
I don't like grieving ...

Life now ...

Things have changed and my hubby is now almost totally dependant on oxygen. The cancer has spread to his lungs and is making inroads into his stomach.

Life now seems to be about managing what we are facing ... damn hard.

My hubby seems to be in pain or discomfort more often than not ... although he is wearing strong 'pain patches' and having regularly doses of oral morphine.

He rarely ventures outside, as the heat upsets his breathing, so he's gone from being an outside person to being confined inside.

His feet, ankles and legs swell to almost bursting ... and this is all part of the this revolting disease, where fluid can no longer be absorbed or passed, as it is with a healthy person.

His shoulder blades poke out like he's been starved ... his arms are so thin I feel scared they might snap. He's thinner than I've ever known him ... and that makes we weep!

He keeps trying to be positive, but it's getting harder and harder.

... but as always there's positives ... and the biggest one for me is that our love is stronger than ever ... but this also makes me cry more, as I can't stand the thought that he won't be a live part of my life for much longer.

I want him

I need him

I love him ...

but cancer is taking him from me

and neither of us know how to stop this!

Happy ...

Happy 2009!

Thanks to all the people who've given support during the past 12 months. It's incredible to feel the support from so many people I've never met and probably never will! Thanks so much ... it really is appreciated!

Have an awesome 2009!